Hetalia on Crack
by umi4ever
Summary: Exactly what the title says WARNING: Countries barfing, sneezing, and having "moments." Rated teen for possible future sexual content or language.


**It had to be done. There's not that much speaking in it, just a ton of crack. So brace yourselves for this. **

**WARNING: YAOI! Countries barfing, sneezing, and having…"moments." Any true Hetalia fan knows what I mean by "moments."**

**Here we go! And it's not a serious FanFiction, so I don't use their human names.**

Italy sighed and cried, but continued on tiredly rummaging through his old things, after Germany had forced him to clean them up. He sighed and lazily moved himself to pick up another box. He opened it up and smiled when he saw that it was packed with old flour. He decided it was good enough to make pasta with, so that's exactly what he did. When he was finished he put it into bowls for Germany and him. When Germany got back from shopping, hungry and tired, he was happy to see that Italy had made food. He thanked him and ate it quickly, and they washed the dishes together afterwards. That night Italy woke up with stomach pains and ran to the bathroom to vomit, where he reached the toilet and vomited everywhere. He didn't realize Germany was already puking into that toilet; he had barfed all over him.

The next day Italy apologized to Germany and cried to him. He told Germany where he got the flour from, and how old it was.

"I'm so, so sorry Doitsu! I didn't think it would make you sick! And I'm sorry about throwing up on you!" Germany sighed, but looked at the smaller man once more, he just couldn't resist giving into those tears. He had to forgive him.

"Italia, don't worry. You didn't mean to make me sick, or…-sigh- barf on me," he told Italy, stopping his tears. Italy smiled and wiped his eyes.

"Thanks, Doitsu." Germany smiled back and nodded. Then a thought came to his mind; If he helped Italy clean, that would give them more time together. He instantly offered his services.

"Italia, would you like me to help you clean up your old things?" He asked, nervously. Italy's eyes lit up with joy.

"Doitsu, I would love that!" He shouted and glomped the larger man randomly. Germany smiled and hugged back for a brief moment.

"Alright, we better get to work."

-in Attic-

Italy led Germany to where he kept all of his old things.

"Here we are!" He said, smiling. Germany and Italy started lifting old things and plopping them down in the trash pile. Italy smiled when he saw an old photograph.

"Germany look, it's me and Hungary!" Germany looked at the picture and smiled. Italy blew the dust off of the photograph, and into Germany's face. Germany started sneezing uncontrollably. He tried to talk in between sneezes.

"-Ah-Achoo!- Italia I-I –achoo!- I'm aller-allergi –ah-ah-achoo!- allergic to d-dust. –Achoo! Achoo! Ah-achoo!" This went on for a minute before he stopped sneezing. He sighed and sniffed his nose, sneezing once more. His eyes were red and puffy and there were tearfs running down his face, and snot coming out of his nose. He must have sneezed at least 50 times by then. It was then that he realized he was snotting out of his nose, not just running downward, he had snotted all over Italy's face.

"Ah! Italia! I'm so sorry! I'm terribly allergic to dust!" He shouted. By then Italy was already running around screaming, "Ah! Doitsu sneezed on me!" but Germany caught up with him and wiped all of the snot off his face.

"I'm so sorry, Italia, I didn't mean to sneeze so uncontrollably, I didn't expect all of the dust," he told Italy. Italy brightened up and smiled immediately.

"Doitsu, I know you didn't expect it, or intend on it! You didn't mean to sneeze on me," he said. Since they were both so happy, they went back to the attic and started cleaning again. Germany opened a box to find a pair of worn out boxers, and looked at them. They were completely clean for a small mark near the bottom of them. It wasn't just a mark, it was letters. A word, a _name_. It read, _Giovanna_. Italy saw the boxers and ran over to Germany and grabbed them out of his hands, shouting, "I'm holding it for a friend!" over and over again.

**Crappiness, oh joy. Well, write you reviews, go ahead, send suggestions for the upcoming crack chapters.**

**Oh yes! We watched the "movie" in school today, so I am frazzled, whenever I try to do schoolwork, I think about my creeper health teacher getting googly eyes at a wet vajj. I needed to get away, and Hetalia was my first choice. Just, ew, come on Mr. Penis-head, it's a class, have a little more self control than that, you're like 80 billion years old! EWWWWWWWWW! Dx**

**Well, yes, bye bye folks. TOODALOOOOOOOOOOOO! xD **


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